Collaborative Practice
What is Collaborative Practice and Collaborative Divorce?
Divorce changes families. It does not have to ruin lives.
 Collaborative Practice is a body of techniques and approaches to conflict resolution that is grounded in the belief that conflict and the resolution of conflict provide individuals the opportunity to grow, evolve and mature. In Collaborative Practice, interpersonal conflict is understood to be a normal and expected part of life. The way in which one faces interpersonal conflict and resolves conflict is where Collaborative practitioners focus. Rather than “going to war” and trying to resolve interpersonal conflict in the common paradigm of having a winner and a loser, Collaborative Practice recognizes that conflict is best solved in a way which benefits all concerned. You may have heard of the term “alternative dispute resolution” (ADR). Examples are alternative dispute resolution are mediation, arbitration and Collaborative Practice. ADR places the responsibility for resolving the issues on the shoulders of those with the conflict rather giving the “system” this responsibility. Thus, there are no judges, courtrooms or third parties who make decisions or “orders” that impact the lives of those in conflict. Instead, professionals are involved and assist the parties to the conflict in finding mutually acceptable and satisfying resolution in which they are active players in the solution rather than passive recipients of the instructions or orders of an authority figure such as a judge. The ultimate outcome, then, is empowerment of the parties, healing and growth. Divorce is both an ending and a beginning.
Collaborative Divorce is a relatively new focus of practice which began approximately 10 years ago in Minneapolis, MN. An attorney there, Stu Webb, felt that there simply had to be ways for divorcing couples to solve their problems without going to court and without all of the destruction and harm that results from the adversarial process. Stu’s vision was amazing and in the past 10 years, Collaborative Divorce has become a means of getting divorced that more and more people are choosing. In Collaborative Divorce, the parties to the divorce make their own decisions about how to divide property, how to co-parent and so forth. They do this without the need of going to Court and they do this without an adversarial and destructive process. The “war” of divorce is avoided (although, of course, Collaborative Divorce can be difficult too). The couple engages in a Collaborative process with the assistance of a team of professionals who are specially trained in this area of practice. The team consists of legal professionals, mental health professionals and financial professionals. The entire team is dedicated to supporting the reconstituting family rather than to advocating for one side or the other.
Key to the collaborative process is three elements.
- A promise of complete transparency, openness and honesty. Information is exchanged voluntarily and freely.
- A promise not to litigate (go to court) and an understanding that if either party chooses to go to court that the collaborative team will withdraw and no members of the team, including the attorneys, will represent the parties in court or have any input into any court proceeding.
- A commitment on the part of all members of the team, including the parents, to work towards achieving the defined goals of the divorcing parties.
Who Is On A Collaborative Team?
 A “full” Collaborative Divorce team is made up of 8 individuals. These are: the two divorcing parties, two Collaborative Attorneys (one for each parent), two Collaborative mental health professionals – also known as Collaborative Coaches (usually these individuals are psychologists, marriage and family therapists or clinical social workers), a child Specialist (who is also a mental health professional) and a Collaborative Financial Specialist (usually these individuals are certified public accountants, certified financial planners and/or certified divorce financial analysts). The attorney’s job is to advise their clients on the legal aspects of the divorce but they do not act as the “zealous advocates” often seen in court. Even though each person has an attorney, a Collaborative attorney’s job is to advise their client without stirring the pot. The Collaborative coach’s job is to assist the parties in navigating the complicated and often confusing emotional waters that accompany divorce. In adversarial divorces, clients often make decisions out of anger or fear. The coach is there to work with the client so that these normal feelings do not unduly and negative impact the Collaborative process and so that the process promotes healing and growth rather than hurt and bitterness. The Collaborative Child Specialist has the responsibility of getting to know the kids, coming to an understanding of their needs, providing the children with support during the process and bringing an understanding of the children’s needs to the team so as to inform decision making about child-sharing and custody. Finally, the Collaborative financial specialist has the job of coming to a comprehensive understanding of the financial situation for the family. With this information, the financial specialist advises the divorcing parties and the team about how to best utilize assets for the maximum benefit of both of the divorcing parties.
Is Collaborative Divorce Faster Than Traditional Divorce?
The amount of time it takes to become divorced varies greatly from situation to situation. Because Collaborative Divorce emphasizes negotiation, compromise and peacemaking, it can be a far shorter process than litigated (court) divorce. The amount of time that it takes depends on each situation and the process involved. Those seeking divorce should not choose Collaborative because it may be briefer. They should seek it because they choose to do their best to get along, negotiate, and work openly and honestly with their soon-to-be former spouse and because they sincerely want to engage in a transformational process that leads to healing rather than a process that opens wounds and offers no pathway to healing them.
Do I Still Have To Go To Court?
No. You will not have to go to Court and neither will your attorneys. Divorce, of course, is a legal process. A “petition” has to be filed with the court to begin the legal process of ending the marriage and a “judgment” must be entered to finalize it. However, these steps do not require you to go to Court. The required forms are filed by one of the Collaborative attorneys. The “judgment” is a legal document, singed by the Court that legally and officially ends the marriage. Part of the “judgment” is a marital settlement agreement. This document, which is the written result of the Collaborative process, clearly specifies and defines what has been agreed to, how things are to be divided, how child-sharing proceeds and what the responsibilities and obligations are for each party.
This Sounds Expensive. Who Pays For It?
You are right. It does sound expensive. However, research shows that Collaborative Divorce is actually less expensive than a litigated divorce when the parties go to court, participate in hearing and attempt to finalize their divorce in an adversarial process. Each member of the Collaborative team establishes their own fees. Typically, each party pays for their own attorney and coach. They share the costs for the child specialist and financial specialist. Not only can Collaborative be less expensive, it results in an agreement that is the result of the work of both parties and that each party endorses, believes in and has chosen. Therefore, healing takes place rather than further hurt and emotional devastation.
How Are Collaborative Practitioners Trained?
The International Association of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) has specified minimal training requirements for all Collaborative professionals. Dr. Simon strongly recommends that you select a Collaborative professional who is a member of the IACP. By this membership, the Collaborative professional is held to specific and extensive training requirements as well as being governed by a set of ethical principals specific to the Collaborative process.
How Do I Find Out More?
Dr. Simon is a Collaborative practitioner and will be happy to discuss Collaborative Divorce with you. If you are getting a divorce and you wish to do it collaboratively, Dr. Simon will introduce you to the process, answer your questions and assist you in forming a Collaborative team. He is a member of the Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego (www.sandiegocollaborativedivorce.com) and a member of the International Association of Collaborative Professionals (www.collaborativepractice.com). Both of these websites can provide you with even more information. |
